amazingtessa

Someone’s going to have a super night!

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 17:13:31 +0100

Someone’s going to have a super night!

“Know that thing where you’re so impressed with how bright you are that it’s like birds...

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 23:33:00 +0100

“Know that thing where you’re so impressed with how bright you are that it’s like birds whispered stinging, biting bon mots in your ear while you got dressed in the morning, but then later on you’re like WHAT AM I? and scratching your nail art into your forearms and frantically petting your neck-hives in a hallucinatory-becomes-physical-reality-response to how insignificant you and your ideas are?”

I mean, the super Kate Carraway again, but who cares? We both know I just put this here so anyone who hasn’t seen me since school who just Googled me would have the tiniest idea about what’s what.

Photo

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:47:46 +0100

Lena Dunham in Interview: I do think girls in their twenties accept certain kinds of lesser...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:54:00 +0100

Lena Dunham in Interview:

I do think girls in their twenties accept certain kinds of lesser treatment than they would at other times in their lives. They’re willing to experiment with what it means to be treated well. You know, what’s it like to have a guy who totally demeans one aspect of your life? For Hannah, at least, it’s an intellectual exercise.

It definitely felt intellectual at the time. That’s definitely the word. But, “one aspect”? Lightweight.

Photo

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 12:13:32 +0000

Sorry, I couldn’t think of a second one.

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:07:35 +0000

Sorry, I couldn’t think of a second one.

COYOTE

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 11:11:36 +0000

On Twitter a while back I noticed the same joke cropping up again and again. Unusually, people weren’t retweeting it or acknowledging the source, but presenting it as fresh each time.

It was about a month ago that I first noticed.

I checked in again this morning.

It’s still going. It seems to be posted by someone (always as fresh, never retweeted) about once an hour.

There are two versions. This is one:

But I think the second one is funnier:

I am fascinated by how this joke keeps playing out, like an endless performance.

It’s stopped being funny now. But I think if it keeps going to the point where we’ve all tweeted it, it’ll start being funny again.

Wile E Coyote is brilliant, after all.

Although the paintings are possibly overrated.

Related reading: Cartoon Physics.

It might be because I’m dehydrated but this really made me...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 15:26:27 +0000

It might be because I’m dehydrated but this really made me laugh. Fair point, the kids.

SMITH

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 14:01:00 +0000

Patti Smith’s not my bag, baby; never has been — she was all about collecting scraps and being the ultimate womp-womp groupie and hanging around the door frame of the back room of Max’s watching and waiting to be invited in and living for the cool people that I’m actually into, after all, right?

And following them around and worshipping them and such, right?

I mean, if you’re going to be a groupie be a groupie; be Sable Starr or something; don’t mope around the Chelsea Hotel lobby dressed like a chimney sweeper and making necklaces out of lobster claws and eucalyptus pods, for Christ’s sake!

That’s why I’ve never been into her.

And she’s such a style icon in her cloaks and B.O. — I didn’t make that up; it’s in “The Warhol Diaries”; OK? If I was gonna use hyperbole and make up something about Patti Smith I’d go with “barnacles and a smock.”

From xojane.com, in which the marvellous Cat Marnell nails what we should all think about Patti Smith in a column about LIP LINER.

Is there a word that I can use to describe people who are over-literal about vintage stuff (i.e....

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:26:06 +0000

Is there a word that I can use to describe people who are over-literal about vintage stuff (i.e. people who would use the word “retro”) instead of saying “retro” in a pained and sarcastic voice? Because I’m really starting to annoy myself.

Currently Unrealised Mixtape Projects Which I Plan To Complete This Year

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:37:00 +0000

1. “Literally”

Mixtape of cover versions where the original metaphorical content has been rendered disturbingly literal in the retelling. Includes:

John Cale’s “Heartbreak Hotel” (John, are you sure? This sounds like a terrible hotel. Did you check Trip Advisor? What street did you say it was on again?)
The Highwaymen - “Highwayman”. (When Jimmy Webb sings all the verses, you understand that he didn’t actually ride a starship across the universe divide. He couldn’t have done, because he got hung in ‘25. When different people sing each verse it sounds like the treatment for a BBC3 miniseries.)
Bryan Ferry doing “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” is my favourite shaggy-dog story of all time.

2. “Nano-greatest-hits”

A C30 comprised of only the actual scientifically-proven best bits from popular artists’ careers. I have only decided on Blondie’s so far (the bit in Union City Blue where she goes “I’ve climbed up four flights”) but I reckon this will be easy.

3. “Eternal Eternal Flame”

A version of Eternal Flame that starts normally but then keeps doing the massive key change-chorus until the tape is full. I attempted to make this tape when I was 11 but lacked the skills (this was the same year DFW started work on Infinite Jest - coincidence?). Anyway, I will finish it this year!

Next time you can’t decide what to wear or what to do,...

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:31:53 +0000

Next time you can’t decide what to wear or what to do, just wear and do exactly this photo.

My eyes hurt.

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 15:14:14 +0000

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

My eyes hurt.

I’m so grossed out by how I increasingly find Vice articles to be well-written and perceptive, and...

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 16:58:00 +0100

I’m so grossed out by how I increasingly find Vice articles to be well-written and perceptive, and I’m double-plus grossed out at myself for suspecting that the reason for this is that most of their writers probably went to Oxbridge.

Can’t get enough of Kate Carraway’s Girl News right now.

Photo

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:26:09 +0100

I can see him doing that too!

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:21:17 +0100

I can see him doing that too!

A fun thing to do is to try and guess your friends’ Ebay...

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:41:04 +0100

A fun thing to do is to try and guess your friends’ Ebay names and see what they’ve been buying. Hi Jimmy!

Kiehl’s promotional email vs Psytrance flyer

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 12:38:27 +0100

Kiehl’s promotional email vs Psytrance flyer

I love Sybil Seely. I am going to spend all of Autumn/Winter...

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:23:14 +0100

I love Sybil Seely. I am going to spend all of Autumn/Winter basically in fancy dress as Sybil Seely.

Thanks for nothing, Etsy.

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:07:00 +0100

Thanks for nothing, Etsy.